Trains (What a bloody mither)
This was written on a forum I used to frequent years ago and I thought id put it on here as reading Kyle’s blog about trains remind me the time I had trouble in 1999… so read on ![]()
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What a mither
went to train station and bought a train ticket my son Josh travel for free the person selling ticket told me “platform 4a at 2:42 PM “
I waited on platform 4a and dead on time (which is very un unusual for trains in UK) train pulled up at 2:42 on window it says Llandudno to Manchester (Piccadilly) it has list of train stations it was stoppingand one of them was Earlestown where my sister lives to we were going to visit so anyway got on the train and off it goes
While travelling I was thinking hmm not seen any platforms anyway after half
hour train pulled came to a stop and ticket inspector on train said
“ You have to get off now end of line”
I said “end of line?? Where are we”
he said “Crewe”
CREWE????
I said, “Isn’t this train going to Earlestown,”
he said “EARLESTOWN??? This train isn’t going to Earlestown what makes you
think this train takes you to Earlestown “
”well its said there on the frickin window Earlestown”
he looks at it and said “oh shit” and ripped the paper off the window and went into other carriages and did the same
he came back and said “I am awfully sorry you better get to information desk and try and sort it out if they get funny with you tell them that id back you up”
Went to information desk and the girl burst out laughing
I said its no laughing matter
she said “how did you managed to get on the wrong train” I explained it to her
and she said “strange that at Chester station (where I live) directed you on to a
wrong train “
anyway she said “the only way to get into Earlestown and the nearest station
from here that takes you to Earlestown is Chester “
I said “WHAT you mean I have to go all the way back to Chester then get another train that takes me to Earlestown”
she said “I am sorry”
”WELL THEY WILL BE FRIGGIN SORRY WHEN I GET BACK INTO CHESTER “
anyway back on train back to bleedin Chester
Boy did I go bananas when I got into Chester station the fella who sent me
on wrong train was not there he finished his shift so I went to where I got the tickets and they said “if you run you might catch the train to Earlestown on platform….”
”YOU MUST BE FRIGGIN JOKIN”
he looks at me puzzled
I said “there is no way I am going to believe you lot that this train will take
me to Earlestown and besides I am not going to run and see my sons little
legs trying to keep up with me”
The station manager came to see what the commotion about and try to sort out the problem
And guess what
they got me a taxi and they were paying for it so they pay for their mistake
but that was not the end of the matter ….
I went into the black cab and taxi driver said “where’s the hell is Earlestown”
yes the taxi driver keeps getting lost we ended up in Runcorn believe it or
not and for those black cabs they don’t drive very fast 30 mph is the bloody top speed
he had to stop 8 times to ask the way he only knows his way round Chester
the way he was on about as if he never left Chester in his life
Well eventually we got to Earlestown and it cost them £38
pulled up outside sisters house and she said “You lazy bastard”
She actually thought I got off station and I couldn’t be bothered to walk 10minute to her house so I got taxi instead
And then she said “your late where have you been “ to which my reply was
“To hell and back”
What it was suppose to be a 25-minute journey took just over 3 and ½ hours
Ill never use trains again
or black cabs
think ill stay at home in future

Wow, they gave you a cab!
Must try that next time, if they’d give me a cab to Newcastle the next time I’m stranded at Kings Cross!
Yeah they gave me a cab as 2 staff gave me the wrong direction.
It was a mistake they have made so they had to get me a cab either that or some form of compensation
About 2 week after that had happened I was talking to a friend who is a ticket inspector thinks that train was sent to crewe to be cleaned and the staff forgot to take paper down that was in window.
So they forgot or did not look at screen to say this train was cancelled.
And now you’ve the ex-CEO of railtrack at the RNID lol……. Next time you want an interpreter they’ll say wrong type of sign-language or something……
Or demand a condom from RNID Access to Work assessor, to cover fire alarm :-p
That would be too smelly Tony!