Fintan Ramblings

On a hot summer day years ago I was with a good group of friends about 13 of us and we had planned to go out drinking all day visit as many pubs as we can.
We had made sure we were well dressed as you know after 7pm wearing trainers football shirts in city centre you wont be able to get in pubs and nightclubs.

Well a friend of a friend joined us but I had assumed he was only out for the evening because he was wearing a football top, shorts and trainers
I said aren’t we moving on as the day wore on but got a reply of “with lets stay here because he won’t be able to get in such and such a pub”.

I was annoyed as we all planned this also he was drunk falling all over the place and offending other people and yet some of his friend decided we all should stay in this one pub.
We said we will get you a taxi but of course he wanted to stay and get even more drunk.
So anyway as the evening wore on he sat on chair and fell asleep one of my mate said we could leave him there and we move on but of course we didn’t.

I bought a flake from the newsagent next door came back
And shoved it down the back of his shorts while he was still sleeping
Well you know hot summer warm arse the chocolate melts waited for a bit and then woke him up telling him get the beers in.
Looking at his face and the realisation of a wet bottom he was thinking I better not move other wise we could see he shat his pants.

He never moved from the chair and when its his round he got his mate to get the beers in.
As the evening wore on he needed the toilet but afraid to move so he said, “ you move on enjoy your selves lads I will stay here “
I refused to move and told him we didn’t want to leave him there on his own.

Seeing him struggling and trying to take his mind off needing the toilet he was refusing drinks and here was I pouring drinks out of a bottle into a glass very slowly.
That was agony and he made a run for the toilet .
Seeing brown through the back of his shorts we all burst out laughing.
We told him in the end it was chocolate and the only way to hide the evidence was to take his shirt off and tie it around the waist.

He decided their and then to go home as he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to wear no top on in a pub and unfortunately it took him 1 half hour to walk home as taxi driver refused to take him home saying “I don’t want no dirty bastard shitting in my taxi”